I know that we are all different individuals with different lifestyles, different personalities, different backgrounds, beliefs, religion, and buttons. Buttons? Yes, buttons. We all are bombs with timers on them. But have you ever considered that that timer is not really a circumstance or something that happens but yourself? Life is made up of circumstances but how we react to them, how we are affected by them, what we learn and take from those situations/circumstances and how we change as a result of them...well, all of that really depends on us. We decide how we allow something to affect us. We decide how we think about it and how we view it.

So the next time someone or something tries to knock down your control, stop, think, and relax. Think about what you are going to say, how you are going to react, and how you are going to act from that point forward. Your decision can very well affect that relationship forever. If there is malicious intent, the person trying to tick you off is obviously doing so because they want to see you lose your control. If you continually please them but losing your control, cursing them out, fighting with them, etc, etc, your..."enemies" (so to speak) will learn exactly which buttons to push and how to detonate your timer.

You see, the way that I see it, relaxing can be a weapon of disguise with which we disguise our buttons and our timers. If someone is trying to tick you off, you don't know how powerful you are making them feel if you actually give into their temptations and flick them off with your anger. During these times, you reveal your buttons and reveal how to send the timers running. When you relax, think things through and react in a way contrary to what your "enemy" is expecting, you hide your buttons and timers and catch them off guard. You can get really good at this too with practice. I am certainly not a professional and I have certainly made plenty of mistakes. But I learn from them and try not to do them again. I am sure that with practice, you will find that you will have a better control of your emotions and you will be able to find yourself quite cunning actually.

So be a ninja this year and disguise your buttons and timers and...relax. Not easy but well worth it.

We can be surrounded by a sea of people, yet still feel alone. You know what's sad? To realize that though you may be popular, you may be well liked, you may even be attractive in more than your outward appearance...you can still be or feel lonely. You've felt this way too, haven't you? That even though you may be crowded you are lonely? That there is more to relationships than simply interacting? Haven't you wondered the levels of intimacy and trust that can be reached in a relationship - romantic or not? Have you ever wondered how to get there?  (D)

I certainly have and I still do. Since I studied psychology, you may pose that wondering about human behavior is just something that I do by choice anyway. And...you are right. Yet, I am not an expert. We are incredibly complicated, much more than we think or imagine. I was thinking about my relationships and I noticed something that both saddens and amuses me. People seem to be intimidated by intensity. It amuses me because a lot of us say that we would like to be known and loved just the way we are; but, we barely let people into who we really are. Therefore, people end up loving what we chose to show them. Then, when we feel like being ourselves we are either disappointed or surprised at the reaction of our loved ones. Then, it saddens me because I have known people that have stayed away from other people just because they are getting to know them a bit too well. So they retreat and distance themselves for protection. See how complicated we are? (a)

(l) My best friend and I have an awesome friendship that took years in building and maturing. But it's because we are not afraid of knowing each other deeply. THAT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FEELING! To let go of your fears and what holds you back and surrender yourself to a love that has been tested true. The other day when we were talking on the phone, I was able to detect the exact moment when my friend touched her face due to a comment that was said. I was even able to predict that she was a light shade of red and that she was relaxed in her bed. There has been times when we have thought the same thing at the same time and we end up expressing it in similar ways or saying it at the same time. We follow each other's bunny trails and understand each other's imaginary  world. But, would we have gotten to this point had we retracted, hid, and stopped the progression and depth of getting to know ourselves deeper?

So in 2011, let us carefully test the loves that surround us and be objective enough to evaluate the results of your own test. If the results are positive, then, don't hold back and let yourself be known and loved for who you really are. Give ut a try xangans! Stop being crowded but lonely.             (is)

Behold the world's cheapest hand free cell phone... Gotta love it!

I come back to xanga after 2 to 3 months of absense and it's like wow...

I am surprised. I am even astounded. My eyes open wide upon hearing and reading what others think of me and how they view me. Have you ever had anyone tell you something about yourself that you were not expecting? Something that you would not have been able to notice about yourself if someone else hadn't mentioned it? Something that you don't see in yourself and that, perhaps (for that very reason), you don't believe or find it hard to believe?

Such a thing happened to me. When things get stressful, I have a tendency to get depressed or to feel frustrated. It feeds my ego to think that I will be able to handle everything, everything that comes my way. "Sure, pile more things upon me. I will be able to do it," I find myself saying internally sometimes. Yet, at other times, I am screaming the contrary. You see, I would like to think that I have the strength to handle whatever comes my way and to handle it effectively. But, you know what? I have to realize that I am only human. I am not superwoman and I will never, ever be. Why be so hard on myself? This only creates more frustration and disappointment. Whenever I cannot accomplish everything I have planned to complete, I feel like I have failed somehow. I feel like I cannot do it right, you know? And knowing that I am only human, that perfection is just an illusion, that all of these shoulds and oughts and have tos only set me up for disappointment and frustration because of the emotional burden of obligation, that I will never be perfect on this earth, that I can get more things done if I just understand and respect myself, that I will breathe easier if I just realize that I have limitations and that I cannot achieve excellence trying to do more than what I can handle...knowing all of this and still coming back to the same tendencies...frustrates me even more. So I don't particularly see myself as a warrior or as someone who holds her head up high at all times...regardless.

But then...I get this comment on my facebook page in response to this status update: [Status] "I am having a headache. Too many changes and important decisions to make, so little time to adapt and make the needed decisions. / Tengo dolor de cabeza. Tantas decisiones y cambios importantes, tan poco tiempo para adaptarse y tomar las decisiones necesarias."

[Wonderful, unexpected comment] "You will be okay. One thing I have learned about you is that no matter what happens, you have always kept your head up. So no matter what decision you make, it will be the right one."

I mean...wow. Keeping the slice of myself I just cut and handed to you, can you imagine how I felt when I read this? It amazes me what people see in me that I cannot see in myself. Sometimes I think that they are talking about a totally different person. It is my innermost longing that one day, I will be able to see in my self what others see in me.